DRaFtiN' PlAAyyaAz iN FntsY FtBaLl

Hello children, today I am going to take you on a journey to a very special place (btw if a middle-aged mustached man ever says this to you, run.) Way back before it was halfway through the fantasy football season and we were all giddy with excitement for the upcoming draft. So with eyes bulging and legs crossed to keep from peeing yourself you gingerly click, Launch Draft. It begins. It takes you to a data base -like thing with all the players in the NFL in it. You and all of the other players in your league sit on their butt-cheeks in front of their computers and get to choose any player they want when it is their turn to pick. After everyone has gone and picked enough players to fill out their team the draft ends. BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE! woah calm down there's no need to get excited. Even after the draft you can propose trades with the other teams in your league, and up until a pre-scheduled trade deadline can switch your players with yer budz. So zwooooommmm rackaaaakaa tillypoo, we're back in normal time now. So chill.

Fantasy Football Round Dos

Due to popular demand I have returned to further explain the world of fantasy football. There are many ways to participate in fantasy football. There are some people who make their own leagues and point systems and go through a bunch of steps and thought processes in order to win for prize money but unlike those people I like to think that I have a life (and no income), so I use the online version. There are a couple of websites that offer fantasy football. Están nfl.com, yahoo.com and some others, all with their own point systems, but I use espn.com. Within espn.com there are a few different types of leagues or you can customize your own rules. You have the option of joining a public league, where you are randomly matched up with people you don't know, or ganging up with your buddies and rashin' on each other.  The standard rule system is that each player you have is awarded points for the amount of touchdowns and yards they have in their game. The two positions that don't follow this system are kickers and defenses. For kickers each kick they make gives them points, the farther the kick the more points. The defenses are given points for limiting the number of touchdowns the other team gets and different types of plays they do. For example, interceptions, fumbles, sacks, etcetera. After everyone has played the total points are added up and the team with the most wins that weeks matchup. Keep it fricky fricky fresh, the end.

Fantasy Football

Here's the deal: fantasy football, if you don't like it change your mind. The whole basic concept of the fantasized football league is this; you pick the dopest players you can get in a simulated draft to "create" a team inside of a league with other teams. So, basically your team consists of a bunch of duplicates that represent the real players in the league. Each week the real life players play their games and in the fantasy league are awarded points depending on how well they do. Now, if God hated you and had cursed you with being in my league, where you are doomed to lose every confrontation with my team you would see that I am 3-2 (the two losses were a fluke and they cheated of course) with a recent win being a blowout by 75 points. I know, I gotz maDd SteEZZzz yo. The fantasy season has 14 games and then playoffs and then the championship. Since my team reps it mad hard I will obviously win that and will keep you up to date on my march to domination

Patriots vs. Dolphins

Patrick Chung. The end.
What just happened? If you saw the game last night then you know. The patriots defense performance against the Miami Dolphins was more significant than just allowing the Patriots to apply pown-age to their players, staff, trainers and team name. It shot down any remaining doubt that the Pats D couldn't perform. Everyone thought that they would be strong offensively but equivalent to a crew of crippled girl scouts on defense. BOOM ROASTED. Now, I know that we can't expect 2 blocked kicks and an interception (all by Patrick Chung) that would all turn into scores every game, but it still says something about their ability. I am literally still in shock from some of the plays, the offense didn't have to do anything. I think it's pretty obvious thats something is askew when Randy Moss doesn't have a catch the whole game and we still manage to rack up 41 points. Overall, I think that this means that we're going to do better than everyone thought now that the defense has proven to be less frail and hopeless than previously thought. I mean the defensive army was able to hold the powerful Miami offense to 14 points, making the score 41-14.   <-- Check it, palindrome biyotch.

Sheldon Brown destroys Reggie Bush

History of Football

Ok, so I'm wicked sorry that I'm not writing about something new or current but I missed all the games this weekend b/c I had the BHS game to go to, Warriors football wha-whaaat! Also as I'm sure most of you know I had to get this blog in by the end of today, and the patriots game being tomorrow I have basically nothing to talk about. So I'm going to just go over the olden days of football.  Lets go way back yonder to a time in yee ol' Great Britain. Here my children, there was a mystical game called rugby.  Rugby is a violent game usually played by extremely large humans with little interest in self-preservation, and typically hygiene. That is unless there are any rugby players reading this, in which case I love rugby and please don't shatter every bone in my body.  So, from there it started being played in America when European settlers moved on over across the pond. It started to become popular in the midwest (it just so happens that this is when Brett Favre started playing in Mississippi Popwarner football) and spread throughout the country. Then in 1879 a man by the name of Walter Camp made the first set of rules for football. For the rest of his life he helped evolve the sport away from rugby into the American football that we all know today. I know, I know it was really boring but it had to be done. Shhhhhhh calm down I'll post a video of someone getting hit really hard to create equilibrium between the boring and awesome. You're gonna make it.